Some mornings I don’t even have my eyes open and it starts. I’m still laying in my bed and just becoming conscious….and I hear it. The demon. The voice that tells me that I should worry. There are things that aren’t good and it’s going to be a bad day. I should be afraid. I’m running out of time. I’m not good enough and something bad is gonna happen. A dread starts to wash over me even before I open my eyes.
I know that demon is me.
It’s my own voice in my head that fucks with me. The fear and the anxiety. It’s like a sense of impending doom. There is a constant battle with all that negative shit in my head and I HATE it. It scares me. It paralyzes me. It’s dangerous and it’s out to get me. That’s not paranoia. It’s a fact. It’s real.
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